Common Senseless.

The verdict is in. This has all been a mistake.

There is a part of my brain that does not work very well. I have serious difficulty with anything involving estimation. For concrete examples, it is rather difficult for me to judge distances or dimensions or age. These might seem like simple concepts to the average person, but they are nearly impossible for me. I don't guess, I know things. In other words, I measure, record, analyze. I don't estimate. I can't estimate. That is not how my brain works. I either know something or I don't. There is no gray ambiguous area. When I make an "educated guess", it's not actually a guess. While I can accept two contradictory ideas/theories/concepts as both being simultaneously true/untrue, I can not deal with maybe. It's a shortcoming that has gotten me into trouble before and it continues to cause problems for me now. It's a trade off that I've come to accept. If I were able to choose, I'd keep my brain exactly the way it is.

Unfortunately, I need this ability to perform my job safely and efficiently. There are situations where this skill is critical. I found myself in one of these situations this week. While the results were not disastrous this time, that will not always be the case. This week was a definite wake-up call for me. I have come to the tragic conclusion that I can not perform this job safely lacking this very basic, but essential, ability. I was not the only one to come to this conclusion.

Sadly, I no longer have a job or rewarding/challenging new career. It's entirely my fault, too, for not anticipating this. I just didn't foresee this outcome. Obviously, I wouldn't have wasted the last five months pursuing this career path if I had.

It's all incredibly unfortunate and sad. I'm taking it all surprisingly well. I'm simply taking all this negative energy and channeling it back into finding another job as quickly as possible.