Backseat driver.

''Use that jake brake!''

It's the third time Mickey has yelled this phrase at me. It's also the third time I've needed to activate them, the third mountain descent, and the third time I've had them engaged before he's demanded that I do so. Before I continue, allow me to explain what he's referring to and why he keeps doing so. The jake brake, more commonly referred to as an engine brake by road signs, is a device that is intended to slow or dull the building momentum of a large vehicle as it descends down a sloped roadway such as a mountain. Basically, it is intended to keep your vehicle from reaching dangerous speeds while preserving your air pressure reserve required to active your service brakes via the brake pedal. Without the engine brakes engaged, it is possible to exhaust all of your air pressure by continually and constantly applying the service brakes. When the air pressure becomes extremely low - between 20 to 45 psi - the emergency brakes are then automatically activated and remain locked until the air pressure is built back up. If you're going down at sloped roadway at excessive speeds when this happens, a jackknife or roll make occur. So, Mickey isn't needlessly concerned. However...

''The jake brake is on. They are engaged, active, functioning, working, slowing the vehicle as we speak.''
''You sure about that?''
''Yep. I'm also pretty sure only I know what's going on up here, so... Maybe you should go back to sleep and let me drive.''
''I still don't think you're using the jake brakes.''
''Why don't you get up here and take a look?! Seriously. Either get in the passenger seat and try to tell me what you think once you have some clue as to what's actually happening on the road in front of us and what I'm doing behind this wheel... Or just shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.''

He went back to sleep, apparently. Is it possible I had tried to engage the engine brake and simply been unsuccessful? No, it isn't. There is a tiny indicator light that turns on when the engine brake is turned on. Light on means the engine brake is on. Light off means the engine brake is off. I may not be a genius, but I'm a fairly intelligent, highly educated man. I took Calculus, readers. I think I can handle this simple procedure. In fact, I think anyone who is unable to handle this procedure should never be allowed behind the wheel of anything.

I understand that Mickey has probably had some really terrible trainees. I'm sure he's had students run over curbs, sideswipe vehicles, get stuck under low clearance overpasses, drive into ditches, and destroy all kinds of public and private property. I get that. I'm not one of those idiots and I don't like being treated as though I were.

I also don't like a man who is laying down in his bunk with the privacy/blackout curtain drawn shut acting like he has any damn clue what's happening on the road around us or what I am/am not doing behind the wheel. It's ridiculous. There's no alarm that sounds when I activate the engine brake. Other than the indicator light and a slight slowing of the vehicle (only noticeable when avidly observing the speedometer), there is no way to know that they have been activated. This particular truck has engine brake mufflers applied to silence the usually very loud and distinguishable noise associated with the application of this device, or there would be that to consider. It should also be noted that while the engine brake aids in slowing the truck on descents, it is effective alone. The service brake is still necessary, if at a slightly less rate. I think the engine brake saves you from using the service brake about 30% of what you would without it. Helpful, but only moderately so.

Much like my trainer, the backseat driver.